Horenstein Family Law Blog - January 2010 Entries

Parenting Through Divorce
Posted: January 29, 2010

There are many books and guides to help parents navigate a divorce with children of all ages. An internet search resulted in over 15 recent books to review or check out from the library. In reading several different books, I have discovered some themes.

What is a Parenting Plan?
Posted: January 25, 2010

When parents, married or unmarried , are separated and trying to figure out who cares for the children when, they often use calendars to determine the schedule for each parent. When the parents are involved in a legal action such as divorce or paternity, Washington State law requires that they submit a parenting plan or residential schedule for the Court to adopt or approve. If the parties cannot agree to a schedule, a judge or commissioner will order a schedule. A parenting plan or residential schedule is one of the many mandatory forms required to be used by parents and courts. The forms can be downloaded free from the Washington Courts site:

Financial Impact of Divorce
Posted: January 22, 2010

The true financial and emotional cost of a divorce is difficult to determine as each case is different but some research suggests it costs about thirty percent more to support two households. This means if one household needed $4000 a month to support four people, $5200 a month is needed to support the same people with one or more living separately.

Dividing Retirement Assets in a Divorce
Posted: January 17, 2010

Retirement plans often are a significant asset to divide in a divorce action. The biggest obstacle to allocating this asset in your divorce is lack of understanding of the retirement benefits. You cannot make an informed decision regarding these assets without completely understanding your benefits and the type of retirement account you have as well as the benefits and plans of your spouse. Many people pay little attention to their retirement plans until they are forced to by a financial planner they hire, or an event such as a divorce or obtaining retirement age. Some people assume it is just something you receive when you stop working. There are two general categories of retirement plans: defined benefit and defined contribution accounts. They are very different which is why you need to know exactly what you have. There are two easy sources of information for your retirement benefits: retirement account statements and plan booklets or plan summary books. How do you obtain information about your own benefits?

What About the House?
Posted: January 13, 2010

As we all know, the house used to be one of the most valuable assets in the marriage and both spouses would argue to keep the house. Now, most people want to walk away from their homes because they are “upside down” and owe more on their mortgages than the house is worth and because the mortgage payment is not affordable especially with a divorce occurring. You do have choices though.

More Divorce Myths
Posted: January 11, 2010

1. I will never be happy again after the divorce. Actually, I could not do this work if I believed people were never happy again. Most clients are happier even though they often have less money and have to make changes such as going to work or working less to be a better parent. A destructive negative relationship takes a toll on a person: not only is it emotionally miserable, it can make you sick. The stress can give you high blood pressure, interfere with your sleep. Most people tell me they are sorry they had to divorce, but that it was necessary and in the end, they are happier. Sure, do I wish like you do that your marriage could have survived, that you could have been happy together, absolutely. But by the time I meet you, the damage is done, you have worked with counselors and your church to try and save your marriage and you and your spouse are still miserable and a divorce is necessary. I hear so many stories of former spouses becoming friends, of even traveling together with new spouses, of former spouses taking care of each other when they are ill or I hear stories of simply finding peace that motivates me to help people get through this process as easily as possible.

Common Myths about the Divorce Process
Posted: January 7, 2010

1. No matter what, I will be divorced in 90 days. The 90 days is a waiting period. It simply means you cannot be divorced in Washington until 90 days has passed after filing papers in court to start your divorce action and after your spouse receives copies of the papers. (the latest date of the two events starts the 90 days). If you have a complete agreement on all issues with your spouse and it is included in papers that you both sign, you can be divorced on the 91st day. However, no agreement means you will be divorced in Washington State when the process is complete which can take months and sometimes a year or more because you may need a trial and a judge to make the decisions.

Welcome to the Horenstein Family Law Blog
Posted: January 4, 2010

Welcome to the Horenstein Family Law Blog, also known as the Washington Family Law Blog.