Horenstein Family Law Blog
In Divorce, Words Speak Louder than Actions
Posted: February 15, 2010
Most of us have been told that “actions speak louder than words.” However, in divorce actions, sometimes “words speak louder than actions.” In a contested divorce, legal documents are filed that may say very damaging things about the other person and their relationship with children for example. When a relationship ends , the initial grief, pain, and hurt often drives both parties to say things they only believe to be true at that moment in time. Here are some words you might see in a document filed by a parent who wants to have the children more time than the other parent.
- She stayed home with the children but did nothing, sat on the couch, watched television, smoked, talked on the phone, never cleaned the house, never barely talked to the children for ten years. Sure I worked and traveled, but the children love me more.
- The children don’t even know they have a father. Even when he was at home, he locked himself in the office and surfed the internet. He would eat with us but never talk. When he attended their games, he didn’t even know which number his son wore. He always said he never wanted our children.
- She always called our son, the dumb one, and our daughter the smart one.
- He favors our son, always has, never wanted our little girl.
I do not know if the statements are true or not but I do know that if the children see these documents, they could be harmed emotionally for a long time. Some parents share the documents with their children. Often, when the divorce is final, the parents become supportive of each other’s parenting later and forget they said these words. Children do not forget these words even if actions are contrary so we try to advise our clients that words can speak louder and do not discuss the divorce documents with your children.
Disclaimer: This blog is written and published by The Scott Horenstein Law Firm and primarily written by Dru S. Horenstein for educational purposes only, i.e. to give information and a general understanding of Washington family law, not to provide specific legal advice. The information provided by this blog should not be used as a substitute for legal advice from a licensed attorney in your state. Dru S. Horenstein is licensed to practice law in the State of Washington only.
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